


Confessions

by brinthie



Category: ALTER EGO (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brinthie/pseuds/brinthie
Summary: In another world, this is what Es would call love.
Relationships: Es/Wanderer
Kudos: 53





	Confessions

The word she’s been looking for is  _ lacklustre _ . It buzzes around the room like an imp, pressing and suffocating and tugs her heart to beat faster and hotter until even her very own skin has become its own prison. The walls are grey, the books are grey, her blood is grey.  _ Lacklustre _ . Es has always thought she’ll die here, alone and forgotten with the taunts of the Facade haunting her every movement.

Not anymore.

The word she’s looking for is silence. It’s not peaceful nor serene, and Es would never dare delude herself into thinking that this maddening silence is a reprieve either. It’s the absence of noise whenever you grace her with your presence, the loss of whispers of  _ you’re a failure you’re worthless no one needs you go away – _

She needs your presence like she needed books, these days. Even just the mere hint of your figure brings an overwhelming rush of comfort that soothes her tense muscles and screaming mind. It’s inexplicable, curious, maybe even stupid, but it’s that sense of going into everything headfirst that always makes her feel alive. Alive, as the blood that rushes through her veins, heart pounding, maddening, going crazy.

You make all that go away. Here, by your side, she clutches a book to her fluttering heart and tries to bask in the warmth you radiate before you inevitably have to leave again. Es tries to tell herself it’s best to soak in the moment, treasure the times she can spend gazing at your profile and tracing constellations with you in the night sky she thinks of so much.  _ Here, this is the North Star, the bright guide – _ if the night sky is these lonely halls, then would it be poetic to call you her North Star? Es would never say these words to you, but she can write them on paper and hold them tightly to her chest, and maybe that would be as good as telling you these words herself.

Es wonders if you know how much power you have over her. Do you? Have you got even just an inkling of an idea how easy it would be for you to destroy her so utterly she could never even hope to recover? Her whole life revolves around you. She wakes and sleeps with your name on her tongue, she reads with you on her mind, she daydreams of your hand in hers. There’s this wandering thought in her head, so oppressive and so scary: what would happen when one day, you stop visiting her?

She doesn’t even want to think about that. Her chest aches with the thought of being alone again.  _ What happened to her?  _ She used to be all right being alone. Now, Es can’t even imagine a world without you in it. She’d crumble and perish and shatter into a million little pieces without your light to keep her sane. World be damned, if Es can’t even have these little talks with you, she’d rather the world die alongside her bleeding heart.

But of course, she thinks, tilting her head to smile down at the floor. She’ll die with your name on her lips, ever-waiting. As always.

But for now, she’ll make herself content, staying by your side for as long as you’d let her.


End file.
